Ever had a moment where you step out of your body for a second, listen to what you’re saying/how you’re saying it, and think to yourself, “Wow, I’m not handling this well.” Or even, “Wow, I’m kind of mean…”
And usually it’s not until the words have left my mouth and found their way into the ears of another before I realize I kind of suck. AKA, too late.
My typical tactic is to backpedal: “I didn’t mean it like that!” “I am so sorry, that was kind of mean.” *awkward laugh* *scan their face to see if they’re mad*
Luckily for me, people are generally full of grace and willing to let me out of the situation without too much grief. But lately, I’ve been asking myself, “Would you befriend you?” “Would you date you?” “Would you want to work alongside you?”
Which are pretty scary questions when you’re honest with yourself. Because judging others is easy, but self-evaluating? That stuffs tough.
So here’s some homework for you–since I know how much we all love homework.
I want you to make a list of the 10 qualities you look for in a friend (be specific). Then, I want you to highlight the ones you think you regularly exhibit. Not sure? Ask your friends (the real ones). If any traits aren’t highlighted, I want you to come up with a plan on how you can change that.
Because at the end of the day, we can’t ask from others what we aren’t willing to give ourselves.
My List: Ideal Qualities In A Friend
- Honest: Even when it hurts
- Authentic: Even when it’s hard
- Kind: Even when no one is watching
- Hilarious: Because laughter is the root of joy
- Prompt: Because my time is valuable
- Hardworking: Because you are who you walk with
- Loyal: Because I don’t have time for trust issues
- Understanding: Because sometimes I suck and sometimes I just need space
- Non-judgmental: ^^
- Transparent: Because vulnerability is key
Do the same thing with traits you look for in a partner, co-worker, boss, daughter, brother, etc.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our expectations for others that we forget to show up ourselves.